Actor's Journal #7 - Let open the flood gates

220109

I was not at all prepared for what was about to come today. Today was scary, today was stressful, today was INTIMIDATING. But I will overcome, because it is me.

I came in for rehearsal today feeling somewhat prepared maybe? Prepared to enjoy rehearsal, to learn more about my character and lines. Sadly mistaken, because when we came in, Mr. Moss literally let open the flood gates of due dates and assignments. I'm not going to go into detail about what he said, just an overall summary.

Me & Michelle -
LOVE PERHAPS
Stage helper (set + lights)
12th - 14th Feb 2009
Night
Dorsett Hotel

Trym, Tilly, Mark & Poo -
CHECK, PLEASE
Prop design, set design, lights design, sound design.
17th, 19th, 20th March and maybe one at night on the 18th/19th
11:30am
duration:40 minutes

Due Dates
13th Feb - Class discussion over lunch about costumes
24th Feb - Off book rehearsals aka lines to be memorized
10th March - Completion of costumes, hand props, set, lights & sounds
12th, 13th March - Dress rehearsals
18th/19th March - Possible night show
17th. 19th. 20th March - SHOW DAY 1130am
20th March - Research presentation (vietnam)
25th March - Rehearsal journals due

SO MANY THINGS TO DO. plus there we will be assistants to the year 13s in directing Chicken Bones for the Teenage Soup, helping out Cats production by the Primary kids and costume design. WOW. COMMITMENT.

After the flood of information. We finally get down to work on Check, Please. I really really did bad. >_< and because I admit, I didn't really analyze my character, didn't internalize her, didn't know how she felt or what she was thinking. I was basically being me. BAD MOVE. We started out feeling VERY awkward. I was uncomfortable and so was Michelle (Louis). It was just all wrong. I wasn't IN my part at all, and that just made every action I took seem on the surface. Like any random Malaysian acting, it seemed fake. I was trying too hard, I needed to be relaxed, I needed to KNOW MY PART. I needed to react as if this is exactly how I would react given me in the situation. What Mrs. Marshall said was really really helpful. My gestures where too exaggerated and I was looking more to the audience than my "blind date". The tips she gave me on body language, stillness yet intense, less being more really really made sense. But somehow I just didn't pull it off. It needs work, and later on, Michelle and I did work on it :) Its a teeny bit better now. hehe. Doing it over and over again, you just know what is going to happen next, and when you know what is happening, the nerves don't spike, when the nerves don't spike, you actually listen to what the opposite party is saying, which makes it more natural, and therefore NOT fake. For me, the only way that can happen is if i read it again and again until I know it like the back of my hand.

I go back home to re-analyse my character.

Who am I?
I am a girl. A girl so frustrated of being alone and envious of couples that I decide to overcome that by throwing myself into blind date after blind date until I meet THE ONE. I'm in my late 20's (26/27) you see and thinking that maybe I should be prepared to settle down by now. I work in a bank where male and female interact frequently. But no, this has no advantage for me because most of my colleagues are in couples, and even the single ones have blossoming love lives outside work.

What do I want?
Pretty obvious, I want to get a boyfriend that suits my NEEDS. sweet, thoughtful, considerate, hardworking, romantic, successful, responsible.....and the list goes on.

What's in my way?
Weird characters that take me out to dinner, which makes my life even more frustrating as I go from date to date. I may possibly expect less and less from each date, thinking maybe I set my standards at an unreachable height.

What do I do to get what I want?
I'm open when we're on the date. I am ready to think that maybe the guy I'm on the date with is THE ONE, I try to appear funny, get the conversation flowing smoothly. My goal is to get a boyfriend. So, all my questions are aimed at more personal information, but still to a certain extent. There has to be laughter then trust will follow soon. I get dressed up well, hoping to have a better first impression, and maybe search on the internet about body language and how to appear open and comfortable. DESPERATION AT ITS MAXIMUM. I maybe practice facial expression in front of the mirror and prepare conversational topics to keep the awkwardness to a minimum. Basically get a crash course on "Dating Language For Dummies".


GOALS FOR NEXT REHEARSAL :
Knowing exactly how to react, yet make it natural. Do not overdo actions (which I really tend to do A LOT) yet make some of them obvious. Be a different person on stage then the one I am in real life. I am her. She is not me. Look at Michelle and think : GUY

I am psyched for tomorrow's rehearsal :D
Ernie